Surviving the Spiritual Desert

The Old Testament of the Bible chronicles the story of the Hebrews and their pilgrimage from slavery in Egypt to the “Promised Land” in Israel. Between their exodus from Egypt and their arrival in Israel, the Hebrews spent 40 years wandering in the desert. Throughout that time, they experience trials, tribulations, and miracles. The odyssey is a test of faith, and some that started the trek won't see Israel before they die. 

This story is symbolic of something that we will all encounter at some point in our lives, which we can think of as “the spiritual desert.” 

I have spent plenty of my own time in this desert, and have walked it many times with my clients. Although I’ve kept the faith with them and seen them reach the end of their roads, nobody can go through that journey for you. We all have our own path to travel.

My Time in the Desert

In the last year, much of what I’ve lovingly built has crumbled around me. The city I called home stopped working for me, my clinical practice was burning me out, and an important relationship came to an end. 

I’d put so much time, love, and effort into all that I’d built, and I was trying desperately to hold it together. Deep down though, something was off that I refused to acknowledge. While I continued to ignore the truth, the Universe forced the issue, and I experienced a major upheaval. Following this crisis, I took stock, and made a decision to surrender. 

Since then, my life has been disrupted in almost every way I can imagine. I’ve made some big changes, and even bigger sacrifices. I’m finally beginning to see the other side, but I’ve also spent many months playing my “greatest hits” for when I'm going through something hard. 

Here’s what I like to do:

• Fake surrender
• Get pissed at God
• Blame myself

Any of these sound familiar? Each of these approaches is about resistance, and the desert is humbling. They do not work. Nevertheless, I persist. 

Faking Surrender

If you run in woo-woo type circles, you’ve probably heard a lot about surrender. We’re supposed to surrender to the process, and look for lessons that we can learn in hard times. Cool. So, my little trick when I’m stuck somewhere has become to try to skip ahead to the lesson, pretending that I’m surrendering when I’m really trying to regain control. 

The narrative in my head goes something like, “Ah, yes, the lesson here must have been patience, or something. Got it, lesson learned. Alright, Universe, now give me the thing that I want.”

Here’s the thing - You can’t teach yourself what you don’t already know. We learn day by day as we go through experiences. The insights come later.

Our time in the desert always, always feels too long. That is its nature, and it’s kind of the point. During that time, we endure false starts, dashed hopes, and disappointments. We also get tired and resentful, and we look for relief and shortcuts. The parallel from the Book of Exodus is when the Hebrews turn to false idols like the golden calf. 

For me, that false idol has looked like half-assed surrender where I try to control outcomes through “manifesting.” More on that later.

Getting Pissed at God

The Hebrews were not pleased to be in the desert, and I imagine you can relate. The desert is the time that we spend between making a leap of faith, and the fruit of that risk coming to life. The leap itself is hard and scary, and so we tend to think that the rewards should come quickly. 

I’ve certainly felt this resentment, much like the Hebrews. Like, isn’t it enough that I trusted you enough to give up everything and follow you? And now you’re making me wait? What the hell?!

It’s fair enough to be pissed, but it’s a big waste of time.

As much as possible, remember that the Universe is wise and loving, always. There is more to this experience than meets the eye, and in the end, it’s all good. We can’t know what we don’t know, nor see what we can’t see. That all comes in time.

Blaming Myself

When I’m struggling, I often assume that I’ve manifested this bad thing into my life by some flaw in my thinking or my energy. This only causes me to spiral more, and then I’m really up the creek.

In the United States, we live in a consumerist culture. Capitalism pervades the way we shop for goods and services, but this influence finds its way into mental health, wellness, and spiritual circles too. The Law of Attraction and manifesting are particularly vulnerable subjects. 

Self-appointed gurus will lead us to expect “instant” enlightenment and relief when we meditate or pray, and told that it will be “impossible” to manifest our dreams if we hold on to even a sliver of doubt. 

Talk about limiting beliefs! 

The Universe is so much bigger, more loving, and more complex than we can imagine. What might appear “bad” will have good at its core. You do not need to be perfect. If you've set your intention and asked for help, Universal Love will fill the gaps in for you.

Of course you will have moments of doubt. You'll also spend plenty of time meditating and praying where you feel nothing, wondering if anyone is listening. But if you've asked for guidance, and you're taking steps each day, you can trust that you are on the right path, even when the destination isn't clear. 

When we’re in the desert, we have to be careful not to take what comes on a surface level. Now is the time to look deeper and be patient. Struggling doesn’t mean you did something wrong. This is where you find yourself right now, and it’s exactly where you’re meant to be. The Universe is smarter than your cognitive mind, and that’s a very good thing. Trust that you're being guided on the path that will lead you to your highest good.

Patience is a Virtue

After all of the kicking and screaming you can do, the desert will still be there waiting for you to truly surrender and lean in to the lessons that it’s trying to teach. Don’t worry, you can’t miss them. The desert will be there. 

The beauty of the desert lies in revelation, renewal, and close contact with the divine. It’s a gift, and we can fight it or embrace it. Either way, you’re not alone.